DR. BEN CARSON IS COMING TO THE VILLAGES

Ben Carson is coming to The Villages for a book signing, YAWN. I know he's a very bright and accomplished man but he fails the barbeque test.

Would I like to sit with him at a barbeque? I DON'T THINK SO. Out of all the declared candidates I would be okay with Trump and Christie. Past qualified candidates were Bush (both Jr. & Sr.), Bill Clinton and Geraldine Ferrara.  I wouldn't mind hanging out with Romney and his wife, Reagan would be cool, I think even LBJ could be fun. Carson, not so much.

I don't like candidates who are overly religious. I think abortion should be available, I would never have had one but I think until he grows a uterus he should keep his views to himself.

I hear he's an okay Doctor, but he is boring.

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I am having a blast with all these Draftkings fantasy sports games.  This newest one starts on Wednesday October 28.

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AGEism In The Villages Florida

I've gotten accustomed to younger people being ageist, many of my friends have children who roll their eyes at my geriatric immaturity, but what is it with the other Village people being ageist.

Countless times I have complete strangers claim they are too young to be living here.  HUH? If you're here you're old enough.  I usually handle the situation by commenting that they sure look old enough.

DENIAL-It's not just a river in Egypt.

My nomination to replace the title "America's Friendliest Home Town" is "The Villages, Florida, Immaturity Without Boundary".

THANKS TO ALL SNOWBIRDS

We should all thank the snowbirds for showing up early this year with their snowpups and sense of humor.
I sometimes read the message board Talk of The Villages, it was fun a little while back, now NOT SO MUCH.

We need the New Yorkers and Jersey crowd to keep it real. Sure, they can sometimes be loud and crude but they keep things light in the beginning.  Sadly a little bit into the season they start suffering from pizza and bagel withdrawal and it becomes frightening.

A word of advice to the other people, the people that only wish they were from NY and NJ-don't go there. Don't tell them about the great pizza in Grand Rapids, don't rave about Publix bagels. If you broach food subjects with the NY/NJ crowd be sure to do it respectfully.  I once sat next to a guy at TwoJays who ordered a latke for the first time in his life-he told me he never had one before-guess what? He still hasn't had one.

Do not make rude comments about the snowpups. The truth is that most of the snowdogs are educated purebreds who have excellent table manners-can you say the same about your grandchildren?

As a final bit of advice, this year has special circumstances, NY Mets are going to the World's Series. As on this writing we don't know what group of losers they are playing.  Don't go there.

Cash In On Free Fantasy Golf Perfect For The Villages

Who knew? I didn't. I never heard of Fantasy Golf Play, certainly never imagined a fun free game where I could win $200,000.  It's kind of like real golf without the snowbirds crowding the courses-LOL.

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Russia Is Watching The Villages. STRAIGHTEN UP.

When I checked the STATS from yesterday I noticed that there were more people viewing this from Russia than from The Villages in Florida-WHAT IS WITH THAT?  There could be a simple explanation, let's face it, The Villages has about 100,000 residents, Russia maybe a bit more.

For whatever the reason, you all need to straighten up.  What is their perception of America's Friendliest Home Town.  Judging from what you see online on the other boards we look like a bunch of drink swilling over-sexed STD spreading geriatrics who can't navigate a traffic circle.  STRAIGHTEN UP KIDDIES-THEY'RE WATCHING YOU.

At times like this I wish old Gary Morse were still alive, he would know what to do. He'd give them a boat ride on the fake lake, open up a chain of Borscht Are Us stands and break ground on the new village of Gatchina complete with the Zhivago center. He could have his golf cart stores sell customized carts made to look like troikas.

What will it be kids, Borscht or Schav?

The Effect of Electronic Pet Fencing on ICDs

The Villages in Florida doesn't allow traditional fencing.  They also have a strict leash law, so many homeowners have opted for invisible electronic fencing to contain their pets.

One of my neighbors recently had an ICD placement.  In reading through the manual I noticed that in addition to airport security there were several situations to avoid, one of which was the invisible fencing. I inquired whether it was the invisible dog fencing or the more visible fencing for livestock.

I can avoid livestock fencing, what about the invisible fencing?  Does it generate a magnetic field?  The scary part is you don't even know it's there, if you're just walking along what is the vulnerability factor?

Guess it's just something else to think about as you step off the curb.