Saturday, August 29, 2015

No Hurricane Erika, Man o Man

Today I found out that we will not be getting a visit from Hurricane Erika, I've already bought all the supplies I needed. So now I have wine, beer, vodka and pretzels.  Whatever will I do?

Thursday, August 27, 2015

The Snowbirds are coming

It seems that every year the snowbirds come earlier and earlier, maybe it's a result of global warming-what do I know?

Unlike a lot of the people I love the snowbirds, love their energy, love their "the neverending party" attitude. Let's take bet on how early in the season the first person from Jersey tries to drive their car over Spanish Springs bridge, and why does it always seem to be a Prius?  We will soon be hearing how the food is much better in NY or Boston or God knows where. We can all go to the town square and watch ladies in culottes line dancing, fist fighting, lap dancing and having Mr/Ms Midnight contests at 10:04.

Yes, we'll all be partying soon and.....

The Real Villages Song Shovelin' Sunshine.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Joe Biden singing the Villages Florida song circa 2008

Anyone else remember when Biden showed up (uninvited) to the Villages?  From what I recall, when the powers that refused his request to speak in the town square he went to Spanish Springs, go a cone from that good candy store (boy did he show the Morse people how serious he was-LOL)

Here now for you alls listening pleasure....

The Villages Song



Oy....

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The GREAT WALL OF THE VILLAGES, it's coming and Wildwood will pay for it!

Yes, it's coming, the Great Wall of Florida, this thing is going to be so huge you'll be able to see it from your Southwest Airlines flight to Orlando.  Rumor has it that all the theme parks are selling tours to see it.

I thought this was just local gossip but I ran into some who looked like Mark Morse at Walmart, first he denied who he was but after questioning him he said yes, the wall is coming. He never admitted being the Morse kid.  When you see him or his sisters around ask them yourself.

You may ask yourself why would Wildwood pay for this wall. The simple truth is they are sick and tired of us running around ruining their town. They view us as spoiled demanding know-it-alls, according to Wildwood residents we drink too much, are oversexed and can't drive. They don't want our fluffy little dogs peeing and pooping. I stuck up for us, stood up proudly and said "I know you are, but what am I". Those Wildwoodians seem to not get rhetoric, it went straight over their heads.

There is a protest planned next money in the Wildwod business district. I didn't realize they had one, but see you there.

Monday, August 24, 2015

The Villages Florida ad song SPOOFED

One of the great things about the people of The Villages is the ability to laugh at themselves, IMO this is the key to a long, healthy and happy life. Say what you will, they are primarily good people and have managed to establish a feeling of community in a short time.



THE VILLAGES SPOOF

Friday, August 21, 2015

HEY Villagers, Need Cash, Sell Your (or your neighbors) cell phone

We all could use some extra cash from time to time cell phones, in particular iPhones can bring in some extra cash. I would guess that the majority of iPhone owners have no clue what to do with all the apps, it can be uber frustrating. I long for the days of the old flip phones, no mystery there.

Do yourself and your friends a favor-sell the darn things.

This would also make a great fundraiser for clubs, churches and schools.

Sell Your Cell Phone

Thursday, August 20, 2015

The Villages Need A Wall ..BIG TIME

With all the talk about Donald Trump and his Mexican wall plan I have found that it has brought the idea of The Villages wall.  I have recently received about 1677 emails all saying the same thing, WE NEED A WALL!

Let's explore the options available to us. We could just wall in the town squares thereby eliminating future "ladies" fighting.  It would also deter locals from having sex in the squares.  I don't really think residents having sex in public is a problem, after all, Mr. Midnight was a local hero (RIP).

I saw on Fox News today that Times Square in New York City had panhandling girls naked with just paint on their breasts. How long until they take over Sumter Landing?  I think naked panhandling should be restricted to residents and banned from Spanish Springs.

All boob painting should be age appropriate, I'm thinking the Twin Towers would fit be great on the older canvas.

Please stop emailing me about THE WALL, take your problems to the Morse kids.